Club News

  

Soccer Administratium

   A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Soccer Administratium."

   Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

   These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

   Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert.    However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

   A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

   Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years. It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

  In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

   This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

   This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." You will know it when you see it!

 

Competition coming to conclusion

   With most teams’ competitions almost finished ts time to remember to return your equipment. 

   Please retutn to the Equipment Officer as soon as possible after your team has finished.

   Also don’t forget yor teams Yearbook Report.

  

Semis and finals

   With some teams now approaching their finals series we will need assistance with these games. 

   Please come down and support the teams in finals matches and at the smae time you may be able to help out your club.

  

Must have referees

   For those teams in semi finals - don’t forget, if you don’t have an official referee - you don’t play the game! 

  

Deferments never end

   A club applied for, and got, a deferment for the last round of the competition. 

   They wanted to watch another soccer game!

   Maybe the final series could be held up to see when they want to play!

  

Small sided games

   Next season in the under 6 competition a new format will be introduced. 

   This age group will play with reduced numbers on smaller fields.

  

Got the taste

   Our secretary has had her second appearance at appeals (no not on a charge, but defending our teams). 

   She was assisted by a white eared gentleman and we were successful.

 

Soccer Jokes

• Sandy began a job as a primary school techer and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said she was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the teacher suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?" "Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"

 

• Three fans were bemoaning the fact that their team kept losing and was facing relegation.

"I blame the manager" said the first...

"if he would sign new players then we could be a great side"

"I blame the players" said the second...

"if they made more effort I am sure we would score more goals"

"I blame my parents" added the third...

"if I'd been born in another town I'd be supporting a decent team!